A Moment of Decision

Today while I was walking down Calle Libreros, a main street in Alcalá, a gypsy was handing out rosemary. When I say handing out, I mean sitting there shoving it in people's faces while they tried to walk by and ignore her. If they touch the rosemary, she 'reads their palms' and they owe her 25E... without a choice! There are a few of these gypsies on the main streets in Alcalá. I normally walk by and am tall enough I can look right over their heads. Letty looks at them and says, "No, gracias." I am more brutal; I simply walk past. I pretend I cannot even see them. I act as if they aren't human.




Today a certain gypsy who has been lurking around for a few days was there again, and as we walked past I again looked straight above her head. I was already grumpy about something, and I didn't think she would bother me; they usually leave me alone. Anyways, she shoved the rosemary in my face. I ignored here and kept walking. 


She then took her hand and grabbed my arm. She tried to stop me from walking away. 


I was immediately infuriated. 


No, I did not hit her. I did not even say anything. But facial expressions and actions can bite harder than a slap can sting. I turned my body toward her, not once looking her in the face, and tensed my jaw and arm, as if ready to move into a threatening action.


She let go. I moved on; I tried to calm my temper. I did not like being touched in way that a stranger was making me feel forced to do something I did not want to.


"A proverb in the Old Testament states: 'He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city' (Proverbs 16:32).

"It is when we become angry that we get into trouble. The road rage that affects our highways is a hateful expression of anger. I dare say that most of the inmates of our prisons are there because they did something when they were angry. In their wrath they swore, they lost control of themselves, and terrible things followed, even murder. There were moments of offense followed by years of regret. . . .

"So many of us make a great fuss of matters of small consequence. We are so easily offended. Happy is the man who can brush aside the offending remarks of another and go on his way."


-Gordon B. Hinckley


I am not perfect; I am young. I come from a long line of feisty women and fighters. But I am a daughter of God. I know better than to be so quick to anger. Here it is, plain as day, from a prophet of God I grew up admiring and absolutely promising myself to always listen to. 


What a matter of small consequence it is that she touched me. Yes, I believe in defending myself in situations of danger. But she is a humble woman, doing something that I don't understand and thus label as strange. I know that if I ever stop to talk I will be manipulated by gypsies; but from now on I will not be angered by what they do when it does not really affect me. I will keep my hands in a place where they cannot be forced to take hold of anything, and then I will move on.


I cannot learn to have charity if I have animosity for anyone for any reason. I cannot feel a blanket of anger towards a people I do not know or understand. I will take care of myself; I will defend others in times of danger. But now I will try to see every person as I should- a child of God. Yes, they might be a child of God with some problems that might harm me and I need to run away as fast as I can and not make eye contact, and if they touch me in a harmful way I will go slay them... but everyone is a person. And for that reason, they deserve at least thoughts from me that are not as degrading as if they were simply a hateful and frustrating animal. 


If I am honest with you all, I do well with words. I like them. I can use them quickly. But no more will I use them in my head to anger towards another person the way I seem to so easily do to some. I will learn to love, even if I must guard myself against a person, I will learn to love them. Because the Savior does. And so I will try. How blessed we are to be able to utilize the Atonement every day; so imperfect we are, but so loving is He. Thank goodness I can come unto Him. I love the Savior. 

Oh, PS... my papers are officially in :) Now it's just a waiting game until I get home! Love you all.