I've worn it for a long time; It's made me sickeningly proud but rather unpopular in a number of different groups.
You see, I'd never seen the movies "The Lord of the Rings."
Well I have a new friend who told me that that was unacceptable, and we had to watch them. So, because I didn't want to lose this friendship (it really was THAT important to him) I told him we could watch them.
Cue Wednesday night.
We were sitting in a truck watching the first Lord of the Rings (thank you, BYU, for having a curfew that makes it way easier to make out with someone after midnight because you're in a parking garage where no one else is around rather than being allowed in their apartment where their roommates are 2 steps away) (no, I did not make out with this friend) (stop wondering if I would have) and I was mourning the loss of this badge of honor. After the movie finished up, I started to have a tummy ache. Considering the huge blow to my social pride I had just taken by watching said movie, I thought maybe I was just physically sick because I could no longer claim innocence when it comes to The Lord of the Rings.
Yes, I'm five and just said 'tummy ache.'
As we were putting everything away, my 'tummy ache' turned into something that I think could be described more accurately as a "holocaust-like genocide" in the lower right region of my abdomen. Thinking I was just a little sick, I ignored it and decided to drive home. Bent in half. Trying not to vomit out the window of my car.
Good thing my friend's apartment is literally only 2 blocks away from my own and I had to stop on the way in order to take a quick break and kneel on the ground in so much pain I couldn't breathe. I'm pretty sure I creeped out some chicks that were walking around and wondering why a car was passing them at 2 miles an hour. It was because the operator was pretty sure she was in the final stages of death.
The pain continued and I somehow managed to park the car and walk into my apartment (don't ask me how). My mind started diagnosing the problem.
"Lower right region of the abdomen... you've got an ovary, the beginning of the ascending colon, which starts with the iliocecal region of your large intestine... which is home to your appendix.
Horrible nausea, acute pain that made it difficult to breathe, and what had felt like cramping earlier in the day.
"Dang it," I thought, "I've got appendicitis and it's 2:30 in the morning and I can't drive myself to the hospital and haven't I already destroyed my parents' insurance enough with random hospital visits in my lifetime?"
Well, the pain eased up after about half an hour. Only after I woke up my roommate by crawling into her room in the fetal position. I'm dramatic, I know. But I couldn't walk.
I almost slept that night, but I was still concerned with the discomfort I was feeling in that region of my abdomen so it was more like awkward rolling around with my eyes half shut. I took time the next day to try and find a dress for a wedding I'm in, so I'm walking around Provo in a ridiculously fancy shirt and wedges. My dad told me to just stop in at an Urgent Care and get examined to make sure it wasn't appendicitis and my appendix just hadn't burst yet, especially since I was still experiencing discomfort.
I generally check myself into Urgent Care wearing a sequined shirt and wedges and looking, in general, like the only thing in my head is the latest color of lipstick that Avon has just released.
I was promptly sent to the ER so that further testing could be started. They knew I wasn't in immediate danger. I wasn't concerned. I could lift my own head and sign my own name this time!!! All I had was a two-, maybe three-, hour hospital visit in my future with familiar and minimal testing and a well known procedure that could possibly include surgery if necessary.
An ultra-sound, a CT scan, and possibly surgery, and then I could drive myself home. I was still planning on camping that night.
Well, let's just say that even when you don't think going to the ER is a big deal, you should still tell your mom about it. Before you get home and have a diagnosis. Or she might be a little surprised, and possibly a little concerned when you send a text, "Just ruptured an ovarian cyst. No surgery, no appendicitis. The doctors say I should come back if I experience that pain again."
And if your sister is in town, it would be okay to let her know as well. Instead of sending her pictures of different gifts you had found at the mall earlier that day for your other sister who is getting married, and then telling the sister in Provo that you are in the ER waiting for a CT scan when she asks which stores you were visiting.
And when you tell a friend you are in the ER, you shouldn't be surprised when they get a little concerned and want to come visit you after you send them the following picture:
I had missed the heated blankets that they give out at hospitals, to be honest. And being able to talk to nurses about their education and careers (I just got into the BYU Nursing Program!!!). And as far as I was concerned, the fact that I could still sign my name when I walked into that place, and lift my head for that matter, meant that I was totally golden!
I just started laughing when the CT scan technician apologized that I was having a rough day, and got concerned that I may not feel super excited about a CT scan.
"Rough day, huh?" He asked me. His name was Scott.
"Eh, I've seen worse," I replied, actually kind of excited to get injected with the stuff that somehow makes your mouth taste like metal.
"Have you ever had a CT scan before?"
"... Yep. Haha" My nightmare of last year played through my head in comedy-mode.
"Oh, great. On which part of your body?"
".... My brain. Haha"
Awkward silence...
"Oh, I see. Okay well then you know the procedure."
I'm pretty sure he had something like, "Oh. She has seen worse days" running through his head. I was laughing, and thinking what a great story this would make to tell my friends camping that night.
But, turns out that after I left the hospital and got my diagnosis, I realized I should probably sleep somewhere closer to a hospital than a 30 or 45 minute drive up a canyon in the wilderness in order to get to a doctor in case of another emergency. I also learned that my mom really wasn't super entertained that I had visited the hospital without her knowledge. So, for future reference, when I'm in the ER, I will let people know. Probably my mom first next time.
Perspective can do that to you; I wasn't concerned. But other people were.
Duly noted.
Oh, life.
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