First Day of School

Well, here it is.

This is the day I thought might never come- I am actually back at school! I am so thrilled to be here. I am scared too.

As I was praying the other day, tears fell from my eyes in gratitude that I have the opportunity to participate in something that is so fulfilling to me, something that was almost taken from me. This is where I get my second chance- it feels like it is now just beginning. I get to follow my dreams!

I have been here since last Friday, so about a week and a half. I didn't have any roommates until about two days ago. I went a little stir crazy and got excited about decorating my apartment, because I wanted it to feel like home. It's hard to make a 40 year old ghetto apartment feel like home when you are the only one living there! Brookie helped me to find some cute things. I'll post some pictures later :)

I met with my bishop, the leader of our congregation, on Sunday, and told him about my condition. I had to be able to explain to him that this is one of the stupidest (please tell me that's a real word) things I feel like I have ever done- but I can't deny that it's right. I still get tired so easily, and in fact I've turned into silly putty a couple of times already while being here at BYU this week. There is a lot going against me, saying that I could easily fail out because of health problems, or that I may not be able to keep up with the academic course load.

I've had a few moments when I have agreed with all of that.

But I've had a lot of confirmations that this is exactly where the Lord needs me right now. It seems that He plans things out for our growth, and not for our comfort. As Sister Jeppson, my mission president's wife, always said, "There's no growth in the comfort zone, and there's no comfort in the growth zone!"

For instance, the fact that my little ghetto apartment with the oven slightly bigger than an easy bake has felt exactly like home to me helps me to know that I am doing what I should be doing. Or the fact that my bishop was immediately compassionate and so guided as he spoke with me during our interview, telling me exactly what I needed to hear as he appreciated the service I gave the Lord on my mission and then mourned with me over the heartbreak I experienced at coming home early. "Just remember," he said, "you did not choose to get sick." There's the fact that both of my roommates are incredibly compassionate and sweet, both having just returned from missions in Russia, or that a couple of my very favorite people from my freshman year are in my ward here at Southridge.

I was feeling completely overwhelmed with this chemistry course that I was taking- having hours of studying before the class even started- until last night I realized I was in the wrong class! It turns out that I have only a 3 credit chemistry class that makes it so my schedule is only about 2 hours of class ever day. That is such a blessing- that is what I needed.

All I wanted to say is that God is in the details. Even when we are overwhelmed, we can be grateful. And being grateful doesn't always mean we are pleased with our circumstances. I think I am learning that it means we are sometimes overwhelmed by our opportunities- and even if it's hard, we grab hold and move forward, believing that 'in Christ, all things are possible."

Life is beautiful!