Addicted

Today I observed a nurse anesthetist at work! Two actually. One was female, then when she was done she handed me off to her coworker, who was male, and who introduced himself by saying, "I'm her worse half" thus obviously leading me to assume that they were husband and wife.
The part I just couldn't seem to reconcile during the next 3 or 4 hours while I observed him and used the words, "Your wife told me" or "Yeah, she said" when he would refer to his wife, was that why in the heck when I was shadowing her did she talk about craving a beer and when I was with him he was all excited about his son turning his papers in for an LDS mission?!

And then I took a moment to talk to my dad, who employs these wonderful nurse anesthetists, and learned that, no, these two were not in fact married, as would be logical considering their life stories they had told me did not match up and he was at least 10 years younger than her. Oh, but don't worry, they won't ever see me again. At least for a year and a half. And it's not like they work for someone who knows me really well or anything... oh just kidding. Apparently my Dad talks about me all the time in the Operating Room :) This is the point of slight embarrassment (that I seem to come to a lot in my life) where I often choose to just throw up the banner that states: Elise Millward, Providing Laughs and Entertainment Since 1993!

While observing these nurse anesthetists (for whom I arrived at 7:15 sharp this morning, after turning around in a windy parking lot for a few minutes, trying to decide which building was which) (also I was on time!!!), I also got to observe a joint being smoothed on a big toe, a breast augmentation by a plastic surgeon (sorry, just being honest, hope I didn't offend you), a Taylor's bunion being straightened along with a bursa being removed, and something else. But I pretty much missed the last one because the nurse anesthetist I was shadowing was very thorough in teaching me all about what I would need to do- and was asking me to help with some of the stuff that could not potentially harm the patient, like helping her breathe or placing tubes on snaps and stuff like that. It was very interesting!

And the conclusion I came to is the same frustrating one I seem to have come to so many times before: I love surgery. LOVE. Even though I almost passed out during the first surgery this morning, when the joint was being smoothed. And even though I almost died when I observed the kidney removal in San Diego (did I tell you about that? An old man on the table, when he was uncovered all the way in order to perform the surgery and insert the catheter, I almost threw up my breakfast and blacked out- my mom couldn't stop laughing when I told her), I can't seem to get enough of it! The nurse anesthetist's job is very interesting, and I don't think I would be very unhappy doing it. I love the deciding factors, the calculations, the formulas, the attention to detail, the control. But man, whenever I was back there at the head of the table, I just wanted to be at the foot watching the saws and hammers and stitches. Sorry if you're queasy...

So why would loving surgery be a problem? Because I have also come to another more important conclusion in my life. And that is that I will put being a mother before career. And the life of a general surgeon does not lead to a life as a home-staying mother. Sure there are other options; but they still include 10 years of schooling AFTER my mission, and I just really feel strongly that I cannot take that much time for myself- I need to begin to have children sooner than 30. Heck, let's be honest. I sort of really want a lot. So that takes time. And the time I am willing to give to that doesn't come out of nowhere- I just don't think becoming a full MD is logical.

Maybe Audiology is my field, or Speech Pathology. Or Nurse Anesthesiology. Unfortunately I like being the one running the ship though, not the one setting up, holding the prongs, and then cleaning up after the case is done.

Surgery: Solidarity. The patient comes in, there's  a problem, the problem gets fixed, you see the results. And you get to interact with the patients a lot too. Anyways.

I am also currently watching the 2nd Season of Gilmore Girls- and I am afraid it is almost monopolizing my time at home! I officially will be reading my scriptures before I leave my room in the morning, because if I don't it doesn't get done- I simply watch Lorelai and Luke and Rory all day long instead. Oh, and do other productive things like work and cook and clean and shop and save and etc etc etc...

Anyways. I'm addicted to life at home right now. I love my family, I love that I have something to work towards and look forward to, and I love spending days with my Mom and nights with my siblings and Dad. Oh, and watching surgery with my Dad.

Oh, other best part of today: After all the surgeries were done, Daddy and I went out to lunch at Dickey's Barbecue! SO good! It filled me for the rest of the day! And we had a proper Daddy-Daughter date filled with beginning work on a Roth IRA and career options and laughter and mac n' cheese (except none for Dad. He chose Cole slaw. Is that even how you spell that?)

Love you all! Talk to you soon. Call me :) I promise I'll call back if I don't answer!

Oh, and we got an offer, finally, on my winter contract. Right after I prayed about it. Coincidence? No. Now all we need is someone to offer... and then take it! Let me know if you know of anyone wanting something ridiculously cheap (we're desperate) but so nice. The Elms is great. K. Bye.